My family has tried to be supportive of everything and since we got married haven't said anything bad about Lucas, to my face
Last night my mom and sister came into town with their friends (as close as family) and my husband had to take a call about liquidating part of his 401K for some expenses. He felt the call should be private (they called him back close to the end of the business day) so he was a bit rude when we all asked him who was on the phone, and he disappeared for a bit to talk. (Hes also embarrassed that we have to do this)
My sister then decided to tell me she thinks my husband is cheating on me because she sees the "signs" Yes, she was cheated on... when she was 15-18 by boys that age.
My husband doesn't have TIME to cheat. He sleeps from 9:30-5:40 everyday, leaves for work at 6:30 and returns home between 9 and 10 everyday, exhausted. We have wonderful alone time when hes home
We arent that affectionate in front of other people, and Lucas' personality can be offputtting and he is a self described a**hole. (and he is a jerk sometimes to me, which I then put him in his place, Momma don't put up w/ that crap) He has NEVER laid a hand on me in anger, we both yell. I know we don't argue the "right" way, but we love eachother and always work out our problems in a day or 2.
I am just hurt that my sister has taken that position, her husband is an a** too but I have never said that to her.
::sigh:::
Nicky B
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Friday, December 23, 2011
Christmas is CRAZY
Well... Christmas has offically started here....
Had to pick up Zoey from Jennifer, then rush home with Ally to give the car to Lucas.
Tomorrow we go to Laura's house for dinner, Brad and Amy will be there with the kids, we have Tabby tomorrow which is great! Hopefully we can get a picture with all the girls and us! It would be the first (we've had some with just the girls, and some of the girls with Lucas but none of all of us)
Grandma Karen will be there too with her husband, Andy.
Then Christmas day, Zoey and Lucas have to go to Tabbys house for a bit.
Then dinner with Ben and Karen, and maybe Brad and Amy.
Then... Lucas and I have a few days alone with Zoey and Ally.
OH wait... no we don't Zoey's birthday and then the Snow thing... then I bring Zoey back.
So in reality... we have Monday together.
Then Lucas works New Years Eve... which sucks
::sigh::
Holidays won't be ours until the kids are married
Another reason that marrying into kids kinda stinks, you lose that "us" time when you first get married, throw a baby in the mix for your first anniversary and you really miss out.
Had to pick up Zoey from Jennifer, then rush home with Ally to give the car to Lucas.
Tomorrow we go to Laura's house for dinner, Brad and Amy will be there with the kids, we have Tabby tomorrow which is great! Hopefully we can get a picture with all the girls and us! It would be the first (we've had some with just the girls, and some of the girls with Lucas but none of all of us)
Grandma Karen will be there too with her husband, Andy.
Then Christmas day, Zoey and Lucas have to go to Tabbys house for a bit.
Then dinner with Ben and Karen, and maybe Brad and Amy.
Then... Lucas and I have a few days alone with Zoey and Ally.
OH wait... no we don't Zoey's birthday and then the Snow thing... then I bring Zoey back.
So in reality... we have Monday together.
Then Lucas works New Years Eve... which sucks
::sigh::
Holidays won't be ours until the kids are married
Another reason that marrying into kids kinda stinks, you lose that "us" time when you first get married, throw a baby in the mix for your first anniversary and you really miss out.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
3 days before Christmas
Because we have a blended family, with a blended topping... (mmm I'm thinking about starbucks now...)
Holidays are INSANE
Last year I was at my parent's house with the baby for Thanksgiving, while my husband was with his mother (he works retail) we were 4 hours away from eachother!
This year for Thanksgiving, I relented and we had an awkward dinner at Ben and Karen's with her brother Stoney (not his real name, he just always looks/acts stoned) and Zoey, after we left Lucas' brother Brad and Amy came over for dinner (they work strange schedules)
Then that Saturday we drove 3 hours away to have another Thanksgiving with Laura and her mother Karen (yes... the ex-Mil and the new wife have the same name) this one wasnt as awkward.
OH I have to mention this.... Lucas' grandma, Karen, has been married SIX times and has children with at least 2 of them, I think she out lived them all. It must run in the family.... the Elizabeth Taylor syndrome
So Christmas this year, I have relented again, Laura's new house for Christmas Eve (with Tabby and Zoey), Ben and Karen's for Christmas Day (But Lucas and Zoey are going to Tabby's house for a few hours in the morning), and my mom and sis and niece are coming for a big Snow festival thing on the 28th. (We went down a couple weekends ago and had an early Christmas with my parents)
My mother has claimed Christmas for next year lol
Its not how I want it, but Lucas swears next year we will be in another state enjoying Christmas, so I guess I should be happy we are seeing everyone now.
My mom got Ally one of those talking Christmas books, I think its really special, I wish I had one for my grandma, Ann, who passed away 5 years ago
But this has turned into ramblings, so I'm going to end it now before my head explodes (its hard to keep everything straight sometimes)
3rd times the charm,
Nicky B
Holidays are INSANE
Last year I was at my parent's house with the baby for Thanksgiving, while my husband was with his mother (he works retail) we were 4 hours away from eachother!
This year for Thanksgiving, I relented and we had an awkward dinner at Ben and Karen's with her brother Stoney (not his real name, he just always looks/acts stoned) and Zoey, after we left Lucas' brother Brad and Amy came over for dinner (they work strange schedules)
Then that Saturday we drove 3 hours away to have another Thanksgiving with Laura and her mother Karen (yes... the ex-Mil and the new wife have the same name) this one wasnt as awkward.
OH I have to mention this.... Lucas' grandma, Karen, has been married SIX times and has children with at least 2 of them, I think she out lived them all. It must run in the family.... the Elizabeth Taylor syndrome
So Christmas this year, I have relented again, Laura's new house for Christmas Eve (with Tabby and Zoey), Ben and Karen's for Christmas Day (But Lucas and Zoey are going to Tabby's house for a few hours in the morning), and my mom and sis and niece are coming for a big Snow festival thing on the 28th. (We went down a couple weekends ago and had an early Christmas with my parents)
My mother has claimed Christmas for next year lol
Its not how I want it, but Lucas swears next year we will be in another state enjoying Christmas, so I guess I should be happy we are seeing everyone now.
My mom got Ally one of those talking Christmas books, I think its really special, I wish I had one for my grandma, Ann, who passed away 5 years ago
But this has turned into ramblings, so I'm going to end it now before my head explodes (its hard to keep everything straight sometimes)
3rd times the charm,
Nicky B
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
How did I meet him?
Yes, I felt like this deserved its own blog.
Lucas and I met, of all things, online.
He got a 3 day trial, and I had a membership.
He emailed me through the site to email him directly.
I NEVER did that until after a few emails were sent through the safety of the site, but I emailed him.
And we hit it off, maybe I was trying to prove that kids didn't matter because my sister was a single mom at the time, but I gave him a chance.
We talked for awhile, then met for dinner one night. We laughed a lot, I was trying to not be shy and not care if he liked me or not, but it was just magic, electric.
He was into professional wrestling, so I saw one of his matches, and I got COMPLETELY freaked out... but I went to every match.
I met his daughter (Zoey) right before Christmas, it was completely nerve wracking because he said if she didnt like me, it was over, thankfully she did. (she was 5 at the time)
We eventually moved in together, quickly and Zoey would spend weekends with us.
Lucas was in the middle of a divorce (started about 6 months before we met) but we got engaged when we were together about 7 months (which is when I met Tabby (age 1 at the time) and constantly talked about marriage, to my parent's dismay.
He got his divorce, but with a HIGH child support payment that has crippled us for a long time (we have been back to court a few times, and have managed to get it lowered)
We moved closer to my parents (with Zoey) for more job opportunities (which didn't work out unfortunately.
We began arguing constantly (both of our faults) and we eventually broke up for about a month, he wooed me, we went to therapy, and eventually I moved back to our original town with him and we lived with his mom.
A few months later, I got pregnant. Shock, fear, doubt crept into my mind. I have often battled depression, and being pregnant seriously ended many job prospects because of the timing. The pregnancy was very hard on me, but Lucas was there for me every step of the way. When I was about 7 months pregnant, we got married in a very simple ceremony with our closest family and friends
I waited that long for 2 reasons, 1) I wanted to make sure he was really in this and 2) I wasn't sure if I wanted to get married at the time.
We had Ally a few months later and it has been tough, but I have become a stronger person because of it.
We have been married now for a year and 1/2 and together for 4 years.
I love him so much, and he loves me so much. We had a really tough road getting here, but we are working hard to make it wonderful.
3rd times the charm,
Nicky B
Lucas and I met, of all things, online.
He got a 3 day trial, and I had a membership.
He emailed me through the site to email him directly.
I NEVER did that until after a few emails were sent through the safety of the site, but I emailed him.
And we hit it off, maybe I was trying to prove that kids didn't matter because my sister was a single mom at the time, but I gave him a chance.
We talked for awhile, then met for dinner one night. We laughed a lot, I was trying to not be shy and not care if he liked me or not, but it was just magic, electric.
He was into professional wrestling, so I saw one of his matches, and I got COMPLETELY freaked out... but I went to every match.
I met his daughter (Zoey) right before Christmas, it was completely nerve wracking because he said if she didnt like me, it was over, thankfully she did. (she was 5 at the time)
We eventually moved in together, quickly and Zoey would spend weekends with us.
Lucas was in the middle of a divorce (started about 6 months before we met) but we got engaged when we were together about 7 months (which is when I met Tabby (age 1 at the time) and constantly talked about marriage, to my parent's dismay.
He got his divorce, but with a HIGH child support payment that has crippled us for a long time (we have been back to court a few times, and have managed to get it lowered)
We moved closer to my parents (with Zoey) for more job opportunities (which didn't work out unfortunately.
We began arguing constantly (both of our faults) and we eventually broke up for about a month, he wooed me, we went to therapy, and eventually I moved back to our original town with him and we lived with his mom.
A few months later, I got pregnant. Shock, fear, doubt crept into my mind. I have often battled depression, and being pregnant seriously ended many job prospects because of the timing. The pregnancy was very hard on me, but Lucas was there for me every step of the way. When I was about 7 months pregnant, we got married in a very simple ceremony with our closest family and friends
I waited that long for 2 reasons, 1) I wanted to make sure he was really in this and 2) I wasn't sure if I wanted to get married at the time.
We had Ally a few months later and it has been tough, but I have become a stronger person because of it.
We have been married now for a year and 1/2 and together for 4 years.
I love him so much, and he loves me so much. We had a really tough road getting here, but we are working hard to make it wonderful.
3rd times the charm,
Nicky B
Well I guess I should start from the beginning...
I started this blog mainly because I feel like I am in a weirdly unique position. I eventually want to write a book, but I have so many ideas that I hope this will help me to focus all of them.
So here it is, my position...
I am my husbands third wife.
::gasp::
In this day, its not too strange, but there are some things that I feel are a bit... different that you would expect to be associated with that statement.
Not to be stereotypical, but we are both white, young (late 20s), and classified as "working poor" / "lower middle class"
So I guess I should begin with who we are.
I have one child, Ally*, and he has a total of 3 (Tabby*, Zoey*) (including the one we have together), from 3 different women. One is an ex-girlfriend (Jennifer* Zoey's mom)and one is an ex-wife(Tina*, Tabby's mom) (he was married in between but had no children).
I hold a bachelor's degree and work as a tutor and sub (when the work is available) and my husband, Lucas*, works as a manager for a major retailer in the area.
My parents (Gary* and Alyce*) have been married for almost 30 years, and I have a younger sister (also Jennifer*) who is married (Mark*) with a child from a previous relationship (Eve*).
His parents are divorced. His mother (Laura*), his father (Ben*) and his step-mother (Karen*). He has a brother (Brad*) who is divorced from (Tonya*) and has a child with her, (Kaitlyn*), but he is currently with a woman named (Amy*) who has a son (Grant*)
*Names changed to protect certain privacies
As you can see, we come from very different backgrounds.
But, I love him more than almost anything (Ally is up there too of course!)
Our life is crazy, hard, stressful, but full of love...
I'll try to update this as much as I can, because if someone else is ever in a position similar to mine, maybe they can learn from my mistakes.
3rd times the charm,
Nicky B <3
So here it is, my position...
I am my husbands third wife.
::gasp::
In this day, its not too strange, but there are some things that I feel are a bit... different that you would expect to be associated with that statement.
Not to be stereotypical, but we are both white, young (late 20s), and classified as "working poor" / "lower middle class"
So I guess I should begin with who we are.
I have one child, Ally*, and he has a total of 3 (Tabby*, Zoey*) (including the one we have together), from 3 different women. One is an ex-girlfriend (Jennifer* Zoey's mom)and one is an ex-wife(Tina*, Tabby's mom) (he was married in between but had no children).
I hold a bachelor's degree and work as a tutor and sub (when the work is available) and my husband, Lucas*, works as a manager for a major retailer in the area.
My parents (Gary* and Alyce*) have been married for almost 30 years, and I have a younger sister (also Jennifer*) who is married (Mark*) with a child from a previous relationship (Eve*).
His parents are divorced. His mother (Laura*), his father (Ben*) and his step-mother (Karen*). He has a brother (Brad*) who is divorced from (Tonya*) and has a child with her, (Kaitlyn*), but he is currently with a woman named (Amy*) who has a son (Grant*)
*Names changed to protect certain privacies
As you can see, we come from very different backgrounds.
But, I love him more than almost anything (Ally is up there too of course!)
Our life is crazy, hard, stressful, but full of love...
I'll try to update this as much as I can, because if someone else is ever in a position similar to mine, maybe they can learn from my mistakes.
3rd times the charm,
Nicky B <3
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